"make up" joke
Scientists have invented, at the cost of $75 million in research, a robot that repels eyeliner, lipstick & mascara.
You couldn't make it up!
You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn that was fun!"
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
A little boy hurts his finger, runs in the house, and calls out to his mother. "Oh," she says, "let me get a band-aid for that."
"No!" cries the boy, "Cider!"
"Cider?" the mother exclaims. "What on earth do you more...