"Mummy, mummy, why do fairy tales always start with 'Once upon a time'?"
"They don't always, little one... Your dad begins his with:
"'... I got caught up in the office. You wont beleive what happened...'!"
A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and POOF-the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise.
Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said, "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me." So the fairy picked up her wand and POOF - the husband was 90.
An elderly lady was rocking on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared before her and offered to grant her three wishes.
"Well," said the woman, "I really would like to be rich."
*POOF* Her rocking chair turned to solid gold.
"I sure wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess," she said.
*POOF* She was immediately turned into a beautiful young princess with a stunning crown of jewels.
"Your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother, just as the old woman's cat wandered across the porch in front of them. "Ohh," the woman exclaimed, "Could you possibly turn my cat into a handsome young prince?"
*POOF* Standing before her was a young man far more handsome than anyone could ever imagine.
She stared at him in awe, totally smitten. As he moved towards her, she could feel her knees weaken. He bent down, lightly brushed his lips across her ear and whispered, more...
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics.
we all know how cinderella wanted to go to the ball but her wicked stepmother
wouldnt let her and then the fairy godmother pops up and gives cinderella
some good news: the fairy godmother tells cinderella that she will provide for her
everything she needs to go to the ball but only on 2 conditions. cinderella
asks what she needs to do and fairy godmother replies, "first yo must wear a
diaphragm" cinderella's mouth drops open and says, "you must be crazy!
im on the pill and i dont need to wear a diaphragm" the fairy godmother
reminds cinderella about all the handsome princes that will be attending the ball
that night and cinderella agrees to wear a diphragm. "well what's the second condition?"
the fairy godmother replies "you must be back home at 2AM" well cinderella
explains that if she is gonna party with the princes she wants to be out all
night long. the fairy godmother tells cinderella more...