Innocent Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A couple of days into his trial, George, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and asked for permission to approach the Judge.
    "Your Honor," George said, "I would like to change my plea from innocent to guilty of the charges."
    "If you are guilty," the Judge bellowed, banging his fist angrily on the desk, "why did you not say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?"
    Meekly, George explained, "Well, when the trial began I did think I was innocent, but that was before I had the opportunity to hear all the evidence against me."

    A shy, drunken, innocent young man walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar and said, "Would you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
    "Yes I would," she replied, "but, go ahead. I'm sure you're going to ask me anyway."
    "OK, here goes," said the shy, drunken, innocent young man. "How many men have you slept with?"
    "That's my business!" snapped the woman.
    "Cool!" replied the young man. "I didn't realize you made a living at it!"

    After a trial had been going on for three days, Finley, the blonde accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'innocent' to 'guilty' of the charges."
    The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you're guilty, why didn't you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?" he demanded.
    The blonde looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me."

    These three Texans go down to Mexico one night and get drunk and wake up in jail. They found out that they are to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done.

    The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am from the Baylor School of Divinity and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent."

    They throw the switch and nothing happens, so they figure God must not want this guy to die, so they let him go.

    The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. "I am from the University of Texas School of Law and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."

    The switch is thrown and again nothing happens. They figure that the law is on this guy's side, so they let him go.

    The last one is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm a fighting Texas Aggie more...

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