Bargain Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

    IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

    IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

    IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

    ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)

    OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

    QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

    NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for morethan 30 days will be disposed of.

    IN A more...

    These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.
    Sign in a Laundromat Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out
    Sign in a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs
    In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken
    Outside a farm: Horse manure per pre-packed bag do-it-yourself
    In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board
    On a church door: This is the gate of heaven. enter ye all by this door.(this door is kept locked because of the draft. please use side door.)
    Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
    Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: The town hall is closed until opening. it will remain closed more...

    IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
    IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs
    IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
    IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
    ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)
    OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
    QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
    NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
    IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.
    SPOTTED more...

    These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.

    Sign in a Laundromat AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

    Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
    In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

    Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE PER PRE-PACKED BAG DO-IT-YOURSELF

    In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

    On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.(THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)

    Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

    Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: THE TOWN HALL IS more...

    A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

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