Crayon Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Dear Santa:
    I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.
    I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
    Here are my Christmas wishes:
    I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last more...

    Dear Santa
    I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on
    demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases
    of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground
    and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash
    with staples and a glue gun.
    I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had
    to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the
    laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in
    the next 18 years.

    Here are my Christmas wishes:
    I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any
    color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the
    breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy
    aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since more...

    I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my
    two children on demand, visited their doctor's office more than my
    doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant
    a shade tree on the school playground, and figured out how to
    attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with
    staples and a glue gun.

    I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases,
    since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the
    back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who
    knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

    Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't
    ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple,
    which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze, but
    are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy
    aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since more...

    Dear Santa,
    I’ve been a good mom all year. I’ve fed, cleaned, and
    cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor’s
    office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy
    bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school
    playground, and figured out how to attach nine patches onto
    my daughter’s girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.
    I was hoping you could spread my list out over several
    Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son’s
    red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room
    between cycles, and who knows when I’ll find any more free
    time in the next 18 years.
    Here are my Christmas wishes:
    I’d like a pair of legs that don’t ache after a day of
    chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already
    have) and arms that don’t flap in the breeze, but are strong
    enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle
    in the grocery more...

    Dear Santa,
    I’ve been a good mom all year. I’ve fed, cleaned, and cuddled my
    two children on demand, visited their doctor’s office more than my
    doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant
    a shade tree on the school playground, and figured out how to
    attach nine patches onto my daughter’s girl scout sash with
    staples and a glue gun.
    I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases,
    since I had to write this letter with my son’s red crayon, on the
    back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who
    knows when I’ll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
    Here are my Christmas wishes: I’d like a pair of legs that don’t
    ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple,
    which I already have) and arms that don’t flap in the breeze, but
    are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy
    aisle in the grocery store. I’d more...

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