Crayon Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Santa:
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last more...

Dear Santa
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on
demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases
of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground
and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash
with staples and a glue gun.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had
to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the
laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in
the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any
color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the
breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy
aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since more...