Catfish Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: You don’t know how? Good!

Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetary.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn’t get paid extra for a longer fight.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an angry rhinoceros?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a computer nerd?
A: Sooner or later everyone needs a lawyer.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.

Q: What’s the difference between more...

* If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

* The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet.

* Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

* On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

* The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.

* It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

* You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

* Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

* Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

* Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider?

* Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

* In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows more...

Q. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A. One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
Q. What is the difference between a female lawyer and a catfish?
A. One's slimy and has whiskers, and the other one lives in the water.
TRIVIA: The catfish has over 27, 000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."
"But why?"
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, more...

Q: What''s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

A: Ones a gross dirty slimy scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and ones a fish...

One day, as Pierre was sitting on his porch, he saw Antoinne coming down the road with a bag in his hand. "Hey, Antoinne! What do you have in the bag?" Pierre asked.
"I have cats in the bag," replied Antoinne.
"Why do you have cats in the bag?"
"I'm going to use them to catch the catfish."
"Antoinne! You don't use cats to catch catfish!"
"Wait and see, Pierre."
That evening, Pierre was sitting on his porch again and saw Antoinne coming back up the road with a bag. "Hey, Antoinne! What do you have in the bag?"
"I have catfish in the bag! I used the cats to catch them!"
The next day, as Pierre was sitting on his porch, he once again saw Antoinne coming down the road with a bag in his hand. "What do you have in your bag today, Antoinne?"
"I have rats in the bag!"
"What are you going to do with the rats?"
"I'm going to use them to more...

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish.

It has become pretty obvious to us Southerners that our present astrological signs have served their purpose and that we should get rid of them. When I'm out driving around I'll see bulls, and once in a great while I suppose I'll even see a ram. Up the street from me there's some twins, but I don't see them much. The rest of these things are just too obscure. You only see crabs on vacation. There are no lions or scorpions, not many archers and no water bearers. Virgins? The neighborhood's not crawling with them either. SO, what we need here is some relevance. We need things we can recognize up there in the night sky.
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OKRA Dec 22 - Jan 20 Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.
CHITLIN Jan 21 - Feb 19 Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they're more...