"Lawyer One Liners 3" joke

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: You don’t know how? Good!

Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetary.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn’t get paid extra for a longer fight.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an angry rhinoceros?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a computer nerd?
A: Sooner or later everyone needs a lawyer.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.

Q: What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: A lawyer can take off his wingtips.

Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: Take your foot off his head.