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    Poetic Love Letter

    Hot 3 years ago

    A Collegian was deeply in love with a foreign girl,
    whom he wanted to marry, but he did not have the
    courage to talk to her in person. so he decided to
    go home and with the aid of a dictionary, wrote a
    letter of proposal to her.
    this is what he wrote. .....
    my darling
    most worthy of your estimation, after a long
    consideration and much meditation, i have a strong
    inclination to become your relation.
    as to my educational qualification, it is no
    exaggeration or fabrication, that i have passed my
    matriculation, no doubt without any hesitation and
    very little concentrated preparation. what you say
    to the solemnization of our marriage celebration
    according to the population of the present generation.
    on your approbation of this application,
    i shall make preparation to improve my situation,
    and if such obligation is worthy of consideration
    and commiseration, it will be an augmentation of more...

    Plan It ........... But

    Hot 2 years ago

    A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and
    resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather
    die than to live another year in prison. Over the years she had
    become good friends with one of the prison caretakers.
    His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a
    graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the
    caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker
    then got the body and put it in a casket.
    Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before
    returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the
    casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.
    Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it
    with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would
    leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were
    kept.
    She would slip into the coffin more...

    I Wanna Be A Commie

    Hot 2 years ago

    A man goes to the doctor for a checkup. After the checkup, the doctor tells the man he has bad news. "You only have six months to live."
    The man sits for a while thinking, and then says, "There's only one thing I can do, I'm going to become a Communist."
    The doctor asks,"You've been a patriotic American all your life, why are you going to become a Communist now?"
    The man says, "Better one of them should die than one of us!"

    In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:
    Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
    Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
    3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
    John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
    Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
    Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
    Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become MineAll Mine.
    Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP.
    Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
    Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.
    3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney more...

    [This was forwarded to me by a co-worker and is reportedly an...]
    Excerpt from The Sunday Press, Dublin, 25-Aug-1991
    Apropos recent events, in case you're wondering what will become
    of all the unemployed KGB men in the event of a change of regime in
    the USSR, I was talking to a German friend recently and asked him
    what had become of all the former Stasi secret policement of East
    Germany.
    "Oh they're all taxi drivers now," he said, "it was the obvious
    solution."
    "Why is that?" I asked.
    "Simple," he said, "you just give them your name-and they know
    where you live."

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