Wick Jokes

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has more...

A young girl who was a heavy smoker invested in a cigarette lighter to
> economise in matches. After a short time it began to give trouble. So she
> spoke to a gentleman who had one, having just seen him light a cigarette
> with it and put it in his pocket.
>
> She: Now be a dear and tell me about that thing you have there in your
> trousers.
>
> He: (Misunderstanding her and feeling a bit embarrassed) I'm not used to
> discussing such things with ladies.
>
> She: Now there is no need to be shy. Tell me, how does yours work? Do you
> jerk it up and down?
>
> He: Oh, sometimes...
>
> She: Then it's different from mine, mine just opens and shuts. Do you rub
> yours up and down until something comes?
>
> He: Oh yes, especially in cold weather.
>
> She: Have you ever tried pulling your wick and dipping it?
>
> He: No, most certainly not!
>
> She: Oh. You should, it more...

All wax and no wick.

Alphabetizes junk mail / T-shirts / canonical lists.

Always in the right place, but at the wrong time.

Always loses battles of wits because he`s unarmed.

Always needs to have jokes explained.

Always sharpening his sleeping skills.

An 8080 in a 68000 environment.

An alligator. (All mouth, no ears.)

An Apple //e on UUCP.

An early example of the Peter Principle.

An ego like a black hole.

An example of how the dinosaurs survived for millions of years with walnut sized brains.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

An expert on the historical significance of cottage cheese.

An inch short and a stroke early.

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light.However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark.Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has a more...

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers
For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However,
recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark suckers.
The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson, proves the
existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of light, and that dark
is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs
suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is
less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark
sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot
have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things,
dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer
suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark more...