Candle Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Perfect Gift!

    Hot 4 years ago

    A guy walked into a pet store looking for a Christmas gift for his wife. The storekeeper said he knew exactly what would please her and took a little bird out of its cage."This is Chet," he said, "and Chet can sing Christmas carols and songs." Seeing the look of disbelief on the customer's face, he proceeded to demonstrate."He needs warming up," he said. "Lend me your cigarette lighter."The storekeeper lifted Chet's left wing and waved the flame lightly under it. Immediately, Chet sang: Oh Come, All Ye Faithful."That's fantastic," said the customer."And listen to this," said the storekeeper, warming Chet's other wing.Chet sang: O Little Town of Bethlehem."Wrap him up," said the customer, "I'll take him!"When he got home he greeted his wife: "Honey, I can't wait until Christmas to show you what I got you. This is fantastic."He unwrapped Chet's cage and showed the bird to his wife. "Now, watch more...

    1. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.2.Be considerate, rearrange their altar so it will look neat.3.Blow out their altar candle if it is still day light. (No need to waste a good candle!)4.Pick up their gems for a closer look.5.Sharpen their dull black-handled knife.6.Witness to them about the "true religion".7.Untie the knots in their cord.8.Take hold of their jewelry for a closer look.9.Play card games with their Tarot cards.10.Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.

    The Perfect Gift!

    Hot 4 years ago

    A guy walked into a pet store looking for a Christmas gift for his wife. The storekeeper said he knew exactly what would please her and took a little bird out of its cage.
    "This is Chet," he said, "and Chet can sing Christmas carols and songs." Seeing the look of disbelief on the customer's face, he proceeded to demonstrate.
    "He needs warming up," he said. "Lend me your cigarette lighter."
    The storekeeper lifted Chet's left wing and waved the flame lightly under it. Immediately, Chet sang: Oh Come, All Ye Faithful.
    "That's fantastic," said the customer.
    "And listen to this," said the storekeeper, warming Chet's other wing.
    Chet sang: O Little Town of Bethlehem.
    "Wrap him up," said the customer, "I'll take him!"
    When he got home he greeted his wife: "Honey, I can't wait until Christmas to show you what I got you. This is fantastic."
    He unwrapped Chet's cage and more...

    Ernesto the caretaker

    Hot 3 years ago

    At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Se

    Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has more...

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