Suck Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Some of these are EXTREMELY offensive. Women who are sensitive
    should
    probably skip this. Why women!? Any FCP or men too!!

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    1. What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt? A pussy is warm
    and moist. A cunt is what owns it.

    2. What's a clitoris? A female hood ornament.

    3. What's the only bad thing about the 69 position? The view.

    4. Why do men fart more than women? Because women won't shut up long
    enough to build up pressure.

    5. Why did cave men drag their women around by the hair? Because if
    you drag them around by the feet they fill up with dirt.

    6. Why did god give men penises? So we'd always have at least one
    way to shut a woman up!

    7. What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick? You
    don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.

    8. How is a woman like a laxative? They both irritate the shit out of you.

    9. more...

    Little too late

    Hot 3 years ago

    A lovely woman decided to visit a penthouse restaurant. So she rode the elevator to the top floor of the building. She had a drink at the bar and then decided to get some fresh air, so she walked out on the balcony. She got too close to the railing and fell over the side.
    As she was falling about thirteen floors, a man was standing on the balcony below. He reached out his arms and engulfed her, pulling her to his chest. He asked, "Do you f***?" She answered, of course not. I'm not a slut!" The man opened his arms and said, "Sorry."
    As she had fallen another thirteen floors, another man was standing on a balcony, and he reached out, grabbed her in his arms, pulled her to his chest and asked, "Do you suck?" She answered, "Of course not. what kind of a girl do you think I am?" The man opened his arms, and said, "Sorry."
    As she had fallen another thirteen floors, another man was standing on a balcony. He reached out, more...

    Things that suck about being a guy:
    * The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
    * External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
    * Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry.
    * Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours.
    * You have to wear ties.
    * You can't flirt your way out of a jam.
    * "Women and children first."

    Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has more...

    10 Things That Suck About Being A Guy
    1. You have to take out the garbage.
    2. The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
    3. No sofas in your restrooms.
    4. External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
    5. Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're
    not allowed to cry.
    6. James Bond movies only come out every two years.
    7. Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours.
    8. You have to wear ties.
    9. You can't flirt your way out of a jam.
    10. "Women and children first"

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