Suck Jokes / Recent Jokes

Lulu was a prostitute. One day there was a raid. All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took them in one by one.

As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so ashamed, Grandma didn't know her occupation.

Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for. Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges to those waiting Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line.

When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed. He said, "How the heck do you do this at your age?"

She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck'em dry!"

The policeman fainted.

What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose? Darling.

It must suck being a penis because-
1. Your best friends are nuts
2. Your closest neighbour is an asshole
3. You vomit when you're excited
4. Your owner abuses you
And if you're in the mood-
5. You work double-duty on Tuesday.

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat`s how u...eat an ice cream!

Q. Why did God give man a penis?
A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up!
Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
A. Its Braille for "suck here."
Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
A. Lipstick.
Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
Q. Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?
A. They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After 5 years your job will still suck.
Q. How is a women like a condom?
A. Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q.What's the difference between a '90's woman and a computer?
A. A '90's woman won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.

Q. Why did God give man a penis? A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up! Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for? A. Its Braille for "suck here."Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull? A. Lipstick.Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex? A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.Q. Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? A. They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job? A. After 5 years your job will still suck.Q. How is a women like a condom? A. Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.Q.What's the difference between a '90's woman and a computer? A. A '90's woman won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.

There was a gentleman living in a small village who unfortunately had
a stomach disorder that required him to drink the milk of a nursing mother.
Well there weren't too many women in the village nursing babies and even fewer
who would agree to allow a grown man to suck on their breast. But lo and
behold, the poor man finally found a rather buxom young girl who recently had
given birth who was willing to help him out -- for a price. The man was
desparate because his condition was growing worse, so he agreed to pay the
woman the amount of money she demanded. After all, the woman had a new born
baby to care for and the father had abandoned them to their fate.
The first day was a bit awkward as the man showed up and, with a bit
of anxiety and embarrassment, leaned over and began to suck on the woman's
breast. Well weeks went by and the awkwardness began to fade.

One day, the woman realized that the man's sucking was more...