Greater Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has more...

    I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
    I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
    I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
    I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount
    of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
    I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies,
    astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
    I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the
    amount of time given.
    I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though
    infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
    If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
    I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change
    my mind.
    I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write
    the first word, when I get around to it.
    I more...

    1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
    2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
    3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
    4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
    5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
    6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
    7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.
    8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
    9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
    10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to more...

    1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
    2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
    3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
    4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
    5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
    6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
    7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitely small, is not exactly zero.
    8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
    9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
    10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to more...

    1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
    2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
    3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
    4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
    5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
    6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
    7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
    8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
    9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
    10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to more...

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