Sucker Jokes

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    P. T. Barnum

    Hot 2 years ago

    The following is an old anecdote, but a good one. Sometime in the early 1900's,
    P. T. Barnum, the owner of the Barnum & Bailey circus and originator of the
    phrase "There's a sucker born every minute" offered $10,000 in cash to any person
    who could thoroughly dupe, or sucker, him.
    Barnum was always looking for interesting new acts or novel creatures to
    exhibit, and one day he received a letter from a fellow in Maine who claimed
    to possess a cherry-colored cat and asked if Barnum were interested in such
    a thing for his circus. Barnum contacted the man and said yes, if the cat were
    truly cherry-colored, he'd gladly put it on display. Well, a few days later
    a crate marked "live animal" arrived for him. When Barnum opened it, he found
    a somewhat frightened but otherwise perfectly ordinary-looking black housecat
    inside, along with a note which read:
    Maine cherries are black.
    There's a sucker born every more...

    Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has more...

    Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light.However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark.Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has a more...

    Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers
    For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However,
    recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
    emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark suckers.
    The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson, proves the
    existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of light, and that dark
    is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs
    suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is
    less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark
    sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot
    have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things,
    dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer
    suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark more...

    Flabby Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with
    most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), or you
    don't get enough variation (the liquid diet), or you go broke (the all-meat
    diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3
    days, or go right back to stuffing their faces after it is all over. Is
    there nothing you can do but give up and tell your friends you have a gland
    problem? Or is there a slim (groan) hope?
    Such is the new Toddler Miracle Diet! Over the years you may have noticed,
    as I have, that most two-year-olds are trim. It came to me one day over a
    cup of black coffee and a carrot that perhaps their diet is the reason.
    After consultation with pediatricians, X-ray technicians, and distraught
    moms, I was able to formulate this new diet. It is inexpensive, offering
    great variety and sufficient quantity. Before embarking on this diet,
    however, be sure more...

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