Voter Jokes

Every Chad down in Chadville liked voting a lot.
But the Grinch, from North Chadville, most certainly did not!
The Grinch hated voting! He thought it a bore.
Now, please don't ask why. Could be Bush, could be Gore.
It could be his heart bled with liberal mush.
It could be, perhaps, that he listened to Rush.
But I think the real reason his trust was so shattered
Was the great Grinchy view that his vote never mattered.
Whatever the reason, Lack of trust, lack of goals,
The Grinch dreaded that day when Chads went to the polls.
He just hated those speeches and negative ads,
And when push came to shove, he just hated the Chads.
He just hated their theme parks, their football-team rooters,
He just hated their gun laws, their barmaids at Hooters.
He just hated their weather, even hated their hate.
And he hated that they were a battleground state.
"So they're making their choices," he snarled with a more...

...amid reports of corruption and voter fraud, the UN has sent a delegation to Kabul to verify the Afghanistan elections results. The UN council found no evidence of tampering or voter fraud and have certified Hamid Karzai as the winner with approximately 115% of the vote.

During one of the general elections, an unusually self-righteous and aggressive Janata candidate confronted a staunch Congressite.' After all the evil deeds done by the Congress party during the Emergency how can you vote for that party?', he asked.
Unabashed, the Congressman replied:' I am a Congressman because my father, and before him his father, were for the Congress'.
Aha!' exclaimed the Janata candidate triumphantly, hoping to squash the voter.' If your father was a donkey and before him his father also was a donkey, what would that make you?'
'That, sir', retorted the voter,' would make me Janata.'

As an incentive to vote, the state of Arizona plans to offer $1 million to a lucky voter in a lottery drawn out of cast ballots. In addition, the voting booth will include a funhouse mirror and the candidates will be chosen in a "whack-a-mole" style arcade game.


The lottery and games are intended to attract the sought after, "almost retarded" demographic to the polling stations.