Election Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This political joke is from the book "From Beirut to Jerusalem," by
    Thomas Friedman.
    A minister goes to the Syrian dictator Hafez Assad after a national election.
    Minister: I have excellent news, Mr. President! You won 98.6% of the
    vote in the election! Less than 2 percent of the people dissented!
    What more could you possibly want?
    Assad: Their names.

    The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

    Bye Bye Georgie

    Hot 3 years ago

    In the photo to the right, the Obamas and Bidens wave to the Bushes as they leave DC and head back to Texas.
    Overheard on the helicopter: "Hey Laura - I took a bunch of towels."

    Presidential election

    Hot 7 years ago

    Howard Dean's wife held a press conference today where she announced that until the election is over she will shave off all her pubic hair and sit on stage with husband Howard, and wearing no panties.
    Astounded reporters asked what the message was, to which she replied "Read my lips. No more Bush"

    Arkansas Scholars

    Hot 7 years ago

    Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
    Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
    Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
    Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
    Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election.
    Q: What are steroids? A: more...

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