Virgin Jokes / Recent Jokes

Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Hubby: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" __________________________________________Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well, that's because we aren't married yet! __________________________________________Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap! __________________________________________Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?" Husband to wife: more...

The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he`s sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished. The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him 50p. The boy looks at the coin and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father, you`re a virgin". The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark. Next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it`s a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing. The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad a pound coin. Once again the lad looks at the coin and says, "Thanks very much Father, you really are a virgin". At this stage the priest decides to take action. "Tommy," he says, "that`s twice you called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?"

"Yes" says the brat, "a tight c*nt."

Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office.Why?
Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Hubby: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
__________________________________________
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well, that's because we aren't married yet!
__________________________________________
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap!
__________________________________________
Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at more...

London, England:
The airline Virgin Atlantic plans to install bedrooms complete with
showers, Jacuzzis and double beds in its 747 jumbos to encourage travelers
to join the "Mile High Club", a report said Wednesday.
Ten to 12 rooms will be installed in the hold of airplanes and be accessed
by a staircase from the main cabin, the Sun newspaper said.
The price of a trip from London to New York would be around 2,900 pounds
($4,600).
"You can do it on cruise ships and trains, why not on a plane? Passengers
will find it comfy and romantic," airline boss Richard Branson was quoted
as saying.
The paper said Branson also plans a Kiddie Class, where airline nannies
and clowns will entertain children.

There once was a 60 year old woman who suddenly developed a terrible itch in her private area. Not knowing what was wrong she went to her docter.
"doctor" she said "help i have a terrible itch in my private area, im a virgin and i cant figure out what is wrong with me."
The doctor told the woman she most likely had crabs.
"how can this be?" the woman said "i am a virgin, i have never been with a man."
she left and went to another doctor for a second opinion. this time she went to a very old and very wise doctor.
"doctor" she said "help i have a terrible itch in my private area, im a virgin and i cant figure out what is wrong with me."
again the doctor told her she may have crabs
"how can this be?" the woman said "i am a virgin, i have never been with a man."
the old wise doctor took a look and looking up at the old woman said "well i hate to tell you this but it looks more...

There where three men driving down a road, all of them were tired and each of their destinations were still miles away. So all of them stop at a farmer's house and ask if they could spend the night. The farmer had a very beautfiul daughter who was still a virgin, and the farmer wanted to keep it that way. Because he was afraid that the three men would pop his daughter, he stuck razor blades up her. ..

So the next morning, he would find out who tried to screw his virgin daughter. So at breakfast the next morning, he asked all the guys to drop their pants. The first man drops his pants and his penis falls off. The second man does the same and his penis falls off.

The third man drops his pants and his penis doesn't fall off. The farmer asks why? He replies " eye hun how"...

Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman's, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?"
"That dress is $899. 95, Madam," sneered the rather snotty salesman.
"Oy! For $99. 95 I could get the same dress at S. Klein's downtown!"
"But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool."
"Nu! So for $800 I should be caring what the lambs do at night?" she laughed.