Died Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight.
    His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK?
    The son replies he is scared because he has dreamt that Auntie Susie had died.
    The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
    The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
    One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he has dreamt that his Grandfather had died. The father assures the son that Grandfather is fine and sends him to bed. The next day the Grandfather dies.
    One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he has dreamt that Daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed. The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is more...

    Physics Puzzle... Nice one - try to crack it. ....
    Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers. One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years, tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.
    Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
    The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment. He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived.
    The judge decided to set him free, and the conductor returned to his profession. After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time more...

    There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either of them died, the one remaining would try to contact the partner in the world beyond exactly 30 days after their death.
    Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later.
    At the seance, she called out, "John, John, this is Martha. Do you hear me?"
    A ghostly voice answered her, "Yes Martha, this is John. I can hear you."
    Martha tearfully asked, "Oh John, what is it like where you are?"
    "It's beautiful. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time."
    "What do you do all day?" asked Martha.
    "Well, Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and there's nothing but making love until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then make love again until about five. more...

    In Year 1981
    1. Prince Charles got married
    2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
    3. Australia lost the Ashes
    4. Pope Died
    In Year 2005
    1. Prince Charles got married (again)
    2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe(again)
    3. Australia lost the Ashes (again)
    4. Pope Died (again)
    Moral of the story -
    In future, if Prince Charles decides to re-marry....
    Please warn the Pope

    Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.

    As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

    The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then suddenly died.

    The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

    At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.

    He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

    He opened the note, and read, "Please step to your left--you're standing on my oxygen tube!"

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