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    Just in time for Xmas!

    Hot 4 weeks ago

    New, from Mattel...!
    [ANNOUNCER]
    New MIGHTY-MORPHIN'-JESUS action figures!
    With realistic healing and smiting action!
    [VOICE OVER]
    [child #1]
    "Aaannggg... Oh no! G.I. Joe is hit... Cobra leader is
    getting away!"
    [whirring sound... Mighty-Morphin-Jesus' eyes light and head spins]
    [child #1 in Jesus voice]
    "You are healed my son... now go forth and kick some ass."
    [child #2 in G.I. Joe voice]
    "Thanks J-man., Let's go Joes!"
    [ANNOUNCER]
    Now you're in control... fight the forces of evil with new
    Mighty-Morphin-Jesus the action figure.
    [Action shot of Jesus figure and He-Man battling Skeletor]
    He's back from the dead and he's pissed.
    [VOICE OVER]
    [child #2 in Skeletor voice]
    "So Jesus, we meet again... will you never learn that evil
    is stronger than good?"
    [child #1 in Jesus voice]
    "That may be, my unholy friend, but I know something even more...

    HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit. ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the chaos principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are more...

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