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    CAT User's Manual

    Hot 6 years ago

    CAT v.6.1b: Completely Autonomous Tester, Manufactured by MOMCAT
    User Installation and Maintenance Documentation:
    Features:
    User Friendly
    Low Power CPU
    Self Portable Operation
    Dual Video and Audio Input
    Audio Output
    Auto Search Capability for Input Data
    Auto Search for Output Bin
    Auto Learn Program in ROM
    Instant Transition To Energy Saving Standby Mode When Not In Use
    Wide Operating Temperature Range
    Mouse Driven
    Self Cleaning
    Production Details:
    After basic KIT construction, the unit undergoes six weeks of
    onsite ROM programming and burn-in testing. Listed features are
    installed during this period. Since MOMCAT uses local suppliers,
    there may be a variation between individual units. Some of the
    units may not meet general standards. MOMCAT's quality assurance
    may reject inferior units. Users may sometimes salvage rejected
    units. Beware of Far East clones. These may violate more...

    MURALI KRISHNAN writes from New Delhi: A Sardarji and a Bengali, both suffering from serious diseases, share the
    same room in a hospital. They were violently ill and both could not even utter a word.
    After a few days of living together, the Bengali gets really bored and wants to start off a conversation with his fellow patient.
    He realizes that he has not enough energy left to say a sentence; so he just attempts to say a word.
    After much effort he turns to the Sardarji, points his finger towards himself and says “Bengali”.
    Sardarji doesn’t want to let the poor Bengali down who has struggled so hard to start a conversation.
    Sardarji musters all his energy and says “Punjabi” gesturing the same way as Bengali did.
    Bengali is happy now and wants to continue the conversation. After much more effort this time he says, again pointing his finger towards himself “Sharath Bose“
    Sardarji after some effort says “Devindar more...

    1. How to get rid of nuclear waste:
    Sending nuclear waste into the sun is expensive, because of the amount of
    energy expended in getting it out of Earth's gravity well, which is most
    probably more energy than was obtained from the fuel in the first place.
    The best way to get rid of nuclear waste is to put it on the government
    surplus list. People will bid on anything if they think they are getting
    a good deal. And as for the damage it will cause, frankly do you really
    care what happens to people stupid enough to buy something that is clearly
    marked "Hazardous Nuclear Waste?"
    2. How to fund private space concerns:
    This is a twofold problem: first the difficulty with Congress, and second
    the lack of funding. Both these problems can be solved in one simple
    manner. Make slavery legal again. All the work on the Constitution has
    already been done; you merely need repeal the Emancipation Proclamation.
    Now, since congressmen more...

    A young blonde woman had the windows in her home replaced with new energy efficient windows.
    Twelve months later the contractor called her, complaining that although the windows had been installed a year ago, she still had yet to make the first payment.
    "Don't you try pulling a fast one on me," scolded the blonde. "The salesman who sold me the windows promised they would pay for themselves within a year!"

    BURNOUT PREVENTION AND RECOVERY
    1. STOP DENYING. Listen to the wisdom of your body. Begin to freely admit
    the stresses and pressures which have manifested physically, mentally, or
    emotionally.
    MICROSOFT VIEW: Work until the physical pain forces you into
    unconsciousness.
    2. AVOID ISOLATION. Don't do everything alone! Develop or renew intimacies
    with friends and loved ones. Closeness not only brings new insights, but
    also is anathema to agitation and depression.
    MICROSOFT VIEW: Shut your office door and lock it from the inside
    so no-one will distract you. They're just trying to hurt your
    productivity.
    3. CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. If your job, your relationships, a situation,
    or a person is dragging you under, try to alter your circumstances, or if
    necessary, leave.
    MICROSOFT VIEW: If you feel something is dragging you down, supress
    these thoughts. This is a weakness. Drink more coffee. ( It's free.)
    4. DIMINISH more...

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