Bolts Jokes

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit. ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the chaos principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are more...

What do lightning bolts do when they laugh?-They crack up

Where do lightning bolts go on dates? -To cloud 9

What do lightning bolts do when they laugh? -They crack up

Husband and wife are doing the spring house cleaning. Wife asks husband to hang some new curtain rods, but he can't do it without toggle bolts.
He sends her to the hardware store where she asks the man behind the counter for two toggle bolts. He puts them on the counter, then asks, "You wanna screw for these?"
"No," she replies, "but I'll blow you for the clock radio on the shelf."