Dinosaur Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q: Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? A: Because she had no guts!

    Dinosaur with sore bum

    Hot 8 years ago

    what do you call a dinosaur with a sore bum!
    answer: a stegasore-ass
    a tyranosore-ass
    a megesore-ass

    Just in time for Xmas!

    Hot 8 months ago

    New, from Mattel...!
    New MIGHTY-MORPHIN'-JESUS action figures!
    With realistic healing and smiting action!
    [child #1]
    "Aaannggg... Oh no! G.I. Joe is hit... Cobra leader is
    getting away!"
    [whirring sound... Mighty-Morphin-Jesus' eyes light and head spins]
    [child #1 in Jesus voice]
    "You are healed my son... now go forth and kick some ass."
    [child #2 in G.I. Joe voice]
    "Thanks J-man., Let's go Joes!"
    Now you're in control... fight the forces of evil with new
    Mighty-Morphin-Jesus the action figure.
    [Action shot of Jesus figure and He-Man battling Skeletor]
    He's back from the dead and he's pissed.
    [child #2 in Skeletor voice]
    "So Jesus, we meet again... will you never learn that evil
    is stronger than good?"
    [child #1 in Jesus voice]
    "That may be, my unholy friend, but I know something even more...

    REDMOND, Wa - The Microsoft Redmond Campus was rocked by tragedy today as Paul Fitzgerald, Test Engineer on the Windows NT Team, was brutally murdered in an apparently psychotic tirade by one of the "personalities" of Microsoft's latest operating system shell program, Bob. In the small hours of this morning, Java, the "friendly" coffee-drinking dinosaur, burst from the screen of Fitzgerald's computer, cutting a swath of destruction throughout the hapless worker's office and into the accompanying hallway.
    The beast was quickly subdued by Microsoft Campus Security upon failing to produce a valid Microsoft keycard, avoiding what could otherwise have been a tragedy of much greater proportions. He is currently undergoing psychiatric evaluation at the Washington Institute for Perfectly Valid Lifeforms Who in the Heat of the Moment Do Some Absolutely Naughty Things. Says Lars Opstad, chief spiritual more...

    A student on a class trip to the natural-history museum asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
    The guard tells him, "Three-million-four years and six months old."
    The student says. "How do you know that so precisely?"
    The guard says, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."

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