Style Jokes / Recent Jokes
Those who have been driving for many years are familiar with macho driving techniques. Newer drivers however, are probably curious as to what these people are up to. Here's some tips for macho driving:
Drive a pickup truck whether you need one or not. It must be very large with lots of blinding yellow fog lights. If it doesn't have them already, purchase used tires from MX missile transport trucks (roughly 6' in diameter); raise the suspension to allow clearance over the whimps that drive cars.
Practice your best scowl. Remember, that this is the only expression you are permitted to show once you're behind the wheel.
Do not be intimidated by the weather. It should never affect your driving style. Under no circumstances should you use windshield wipers. They're for appearance only. If snow blankets your vehicle, clear a peep-hole just large enough to see what's in front of you. You are not permitted to leave your vehicle to do this however! If you can't reach around to the more...
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS.... SANTA CRUZ STYLE...
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),
TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of more...
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SANTA CRUZ STYLE...
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),
TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,
(NOTE after more...
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SANTA CRUZ STYLE...On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note), TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping, NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression, EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans, SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands, SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products, FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,(NOTE after members of the Animal Liberation Front more...
Delhi girls are cultured, they'll show you a good time
Malayali girls seem so innocent, but ya know what's on their mind
Andhra girls are bashful, Bengalis are so cosy
Kashmiri girls keep you warm at night with their cheeks so rosy
Punjabi girls are flirts, Oriya girls are charming
And Tamil girls squeeze you so tight, they really are alarming
But there's one place in this whole land where I'm never lonely
'Cause the cutest girls in all the world are in Bombay only
I wish they all could be Bombay girls!
I wish they all could be Bombay girls!
Girls elsewhere just can't compare to the ghagara of gujarat
Out their way no one can say how many they've broken hearts
Bombay girls have style - how they pucker those pouting lips
Bombay girls got that twinkle in their eye' n' lovely swayinghips
I wish they all could be Bombay girls!
I wish they all could be Bombay girls!
U. P girls are sweet, Rajasthanis true for more...
Since the world situation is making us all think about how governments, religions and business effect us, this simplified explanation might help us under stand better.
THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES...
A CHRISTIAN:
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the more...
Army, Air Force, and Marine Generals were standing in front of a rappelling tower with a Navy Admiral. The Air Force General says to the others, "My men are the most courageous of the Armed Forces." "Ha!", said Army, "My men are the most courageous and I'll prove it." Army calls a Private over from the tower. He tells the Private, "I want you to jump off that tower- no rope, no parachute." "Yes, Sir!!!", the Private yells and proceeds to climb the tower. The Private walks to the edge, yells "Hoo-ahh!", and jumps off the tower. He is killed instantly upon impact. "That's nothing," the Air Force General said, bored. He calls a Senior Airman over. "Son, I want you to jump off that tower- no rope, no parachute. And I want you to do it with style." "Yes, Sir!!!", the Senior Airman yells. He climbs to the top of the tower, walks to the edge and jumps. He executes a swan dive that would make Greg more...