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    Artie

    Hot 6 years ago

    This young husband realizes he has made a mistake marrying his wife and decides to have her offed for her insurance. Through a friend of a friend, the young husband locates "Artie" who has done these contracts before.
    Artie meets with the young husband and Artie agrees to do the job for $10,000 with $5,000 upfront. The husband says he doesn't have that kind of money now but will when he collects the insurance money. Artie says he still wants something. What's in his wallet? The young husband pulls out his wallet and shows Artie a dollar. Artie takes the dollar as the down payment.
    Artie tails the wife and follows her into the produce section of a grocery store. Thinking they're alone, Artie approaches the wife and chokes her to death. A produce worker comes up having seen the whole thing. Not wanting to leave any witnesses, Artie chokes him to death, too. Unbeknownst to Artie, this is all captured on the in-store camera. Artie is caught. The headlines the next day more...

    Murder at Woolworths

    Hot 4 years ago

    Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
    A' friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of' Artie.'
    Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5, 000.
    The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
    Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
    A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Woolworths store. There, he surprised her in the produce department more...

    TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
    You retire on the income.
    INDIAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.
    PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
    You don't have any cows.
    You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
    You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment.
    You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world.
    AMERICAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
    You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
    You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.
    FRENCH ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You go on more...

    Why English is tough

    Hot 3 years ago

    Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.1. The bandage was wound around the wound.2. The farm was used to produce produce.3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.4. We must polish the Polish furniture.5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.10. I did not object to the object.11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.13. They were too close to the door to close it.14. The buck does funny things when does are present.15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.19. Upon seeing the tear in the more...

    Two cow explanation

    Hot 6 years ago

    The "Two Cow Explanation" of what makes...
    A Christian Democrat: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
    A Socialist (or a Canadian New Democrat): You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    A Republican (or a Canadian Conservative): You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
    A Democrat (or a Canadian Liberal): You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
    A Communist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    A Fascist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
    Democracy, American Style: You have two cows. The more...

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