A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.
A father and son live on a farm. One day the father says, "Son, things haven't been going very well and I'm afraid we'll have to sell your duck. I'm really sorry, but we need the money. I want you to take the duck to town and bring back the money."So the son takes the duck and sets off down the road. Halfway to town he runs into a hooker. She says, "Hey kid, I could show you a really good time if you're interested." He replies, "I'd sure like to, but all I have to pay with is this duck." "Well," she says, "maybe we can work something out."So they go off into the bushes and the branches are snapping and feathers flying... When they come out, she is breathless and says, "Wow! That was incredible! Not bad for a kid. Tell you what, if you can do that again, I'll give you back your duck."As you might guess, he's all for that idea. So they return to the bushes and get it on again. When they are done she is still amazed at his more...
An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied that it took only a little while.
The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.
The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?
The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senior."
The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds more...
A Jamaican tourist was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an Australian, chewing gum, sat next to him.
The Jamaican politely ignored the Australian, who, never the less started up a conversation. The Australian snapped his gum and said, "You Jamaican folks eat the whole bread?"
The Jamaican frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."
The Australian blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In Australia, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect, recycle them, and transform them into croissants and sell them to Jamaica."
The Australian had a smirk on his face. The Jamaican listened in silence. The Australian persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?" Sighing the Jamaican replied, "Of course." Cracking his gum between his teeth, the Australian said, "We don't. In Australia, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and leftovers more...
A Frenchmen is calmly having his breakfast when an American (noisily chewing gum) sits beside him.
The Frenchman ignores the American who (not happy about this) starts a conversation.
American: "Do you eat the whole bread?"
French (in a bad mood): "Of course!"
American: "We don't. We only eat what is inside and the outside we put together in a container, recycle it, transform it into croissants and sell it to France."
The French listens in silence.
The American insists: "Do you eat the bread with jam?"
French (now more annoyed): "Of course!"
American: "We don't. We eat fresh fruit for our breakfast, put all the seed and the rest in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to France."
The Frenchman then asks: "And what do you do with condoms once you used them?"
American: "We throw them away, of course!"
French: "We don't. We put more...