Style Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.
    "Does you and your wife ever do it doggie style?"
    "Well... not exactly. She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
    "Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"
    "Well... not exactly...." "I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead."

    Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one
    American, were on their way to an international business conference when
    they were kidnaped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout.
    "You, your companies and your countries are enemies of the Revolution," screamed
    the terrorist leader, "and you're going to be executed! Do you have any last
    requests?"
    The Englishman spoke first.
    "Before I die, I want to honor my contry and protest this barbaric act by
    singing "God Save The Queen" to all your men."
    "That can be arranged," said the terrorist.
    The Frenchman said, "And I want to honor MY country before I die by singing
    "The Marseilles" to your men."
    The Japanese said, "Before I die, I wish to honor MY country by giving the
    lecture I was going to present on the Japanese style of industrial management."
    The terrorist turned finally more...

    The "Two Cow Explanation" of what makes...
    A Christian Democrat: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
    A Socialist (or a Canadian New Democrat): You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    A Republican (or a Canadian Conservative): You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
    A Democrat (or a Canadian Liberal): You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
    A Communist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    A Fascist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
    Democracy, American Style: You have two cows. The more...

    A major network is planning the show "Survivor 2" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
    Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Al Gore, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."
    The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.

    Osama Bin Laden's son, Omar, revealed in a book that Osama's parenting style was cruel and unusual. Well gee, who could have ever seen THAT coming?

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