Nightmare Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight.
His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK?
The son replies he is scared because he has dreamt that Auntie Susie had died.
The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he has dreamt that his Grandfather had died. The father assures the son that Grandfather is fine and sends him to bed. The next day the Grandfather dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he has dreamt that Daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed. The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is more...

Santa goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - Santa wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that his aunt had died. Santa assures the son that Auntie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie dies. One week later, Santa again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - Santa again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that his grandmother had died. The father assures the son that she is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, grandmother dies. One week later, Santa again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare, he again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that his daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.
Santa goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, Santa is scared for his life- he more...

Gore: My God, it was terrible!
Aide: What? Gore: This nightmare I had--I dreamed I was running against Dan Quayle. Aide: What's so terrible about that? Seems to me it'd be a slam dunk for you. Gore: You don't understand. I was in this debate--and the first thing they ask ed was, "Which of you is Al and which of you is Dan?"

The Holiday Nightmare
(to the tune of "Santa Claus is comming to town.)
You better give up
On Christmas this year-
You haven't a chance
With relatives here-
Sam and Roz are coming to town.
They're bringing thier kids
To add to your fun-
They're staying ten days;
You thought it was one-
Sam and Roz are coming to town.
They'll monopolize your bathroom;
They'll destroy your sol-i-tude;
They will eat you out of house and
home,
Then complain about the food.
They're only one way
To save your No-el-
You give 'em your house;
You take a hotel-
Sam and Roz are comming to town.

The Holiday Nightmare
(to the tune of "Santa Claus is comming to town.) You better give up
On Christmas this year--
You haven't a chance
With relatives here--
Sam and Roz are coming to town.
They're bringing thier kids
To add to your fun--
They're staying ten days;
You thought it was one--
Sam and Roz are coming to town.
They'll monopolize your bathroom;
They'll destroy your sol-i-tude;
They will eat you out of house and
home,
Then complain about the food.
They're only one way
To save your No-el--
You give' em your house;
You take a hotel--
Sam and Roz are comming to town.