Comming Jokes

The Holiday Nightmare
(to the tune of "Santa Claus is comming to town.) You better give up
On Christmas this year--
You haven't a chance
With relatives here--
Sam and Roz are coming to town.
They're bringing thier kids
To add to your fun--
They're staying ten days;
You thought it was one--
Sam and Roz are coming to town.
They'll monopolize your bathroom;
They'll destroy your sol-i-tude;
They will eat you out of house and
home,
Then complain about the food.
They're only one way
To save your No-el--
You give' em your house;
You take a hotel--
Sam and Roz are comming to town.

1. Blady war on our boarder, Sons of Bengal bheel crush these hoarders. All join CRP and Army, Bugger Chinese must flee.
2. Recruiting offishsars taking names, Whife say Bholanath don't be shamed, Put your name on top of the least, Phor phree clothing and phresh pheesh.
3. To the depoh all are sent, Banerjees, Choudhurys all did went, Debs, Deys, Duttas and Das, Shaking posterior with big arse.
4. Guptos, Ghosh, Guhas and Mondols, Looking like many dhobi bundles, Mookherjees, Chatterjees, Mazumdars and Mitters, Grinding tooths for hurt (heart) is bitter.
5. Shum-one is shouting tarn to right, Phor medical exam and eyeshight. Doctor is telling undress phull, But I am feeling blady phool.
6. Doctor putting tape around chest, Breathe in and out and dam the rest. Myself feeling bhery sai (shy), Doctor is pheeling near thigh.
7. Now for khaki clothing go, I am rushing but dhuti tore. Pushing, heaving, jostling and banging, But I pheel something is more...

The Holiday Nightmare
(to the tune of "Santa Claus is comming to town.)
You better give up
On Christmas this year-
You haven't a chance
With relatives here-
Sam and Roz are coming to town.
They're bringing thier kids
To add to your fun-
They're staying ten days;
You thought it was one-
Sam and Roz are coming to town.
They'll monopolize your bathroom;
They'll destroy your sol-i-tude;
They will eat you out of house and
home,
Then complain about the food.
They're only one way
To save your No-el-
You give 'em your house;
You take a hotel-
Sam and Roz are comming to town.

IF SOME ONE SAYS THEY COULD SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF A TUNNEL REFFERING TO BE A BRIGHT FUTURE, THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
COULD BE AN ON COMMING TRAIN THAT COULD RAIL ROAD YOU! !!

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is not comming in because she is not feeling well.
"Whats the matter?" he asked.
"I have anal glaucoma." she says in a weak voice.
"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"
I cant see my asss comming to work today.