Nightmare Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Dad will die

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight.
    His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK?
    The son replies he is scared because he has dreamt that Auntie Susie had died.
    The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
    The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
    One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he has dreamt that his Grandfather had died. The father assures the son that Grandfather is fine and sends him to bed. The next day the Grandfather dies.
    One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he has dreamt that Daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed. The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is more...

    Lucky Santa !

    Hot 3 years ago

    Santa goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - Santa wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that his aunt had died. Santa assures the son that Auntie is fine and sends him to bed.
    The next day, Auntie dies. One week later, Santa again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - Santa again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that his grandmother had died. The father assures the son that she is fine and sends him to bed.
    The next day, grandmother dies. One week later, Santa again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare, he again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that his daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.
    Santa goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, Santa is scared for his life- he more...

    The Holiday Nightmare

    Hot 3 years ago

    The Holiday Nightmare
    (to the tune of "Santa Claus is comming to town.)
    You better give up
    On Christmas this year-
    You haven't a chance
    With relatives here-
    Sam and Roz are coming to town.
    They're bringing thier kids
    To add to your fun-
    They're staying ten days;
    You thought it was one-
    Sam and Roz are coming to town.
    They'll monopolize your bathroom;
    They'll destroy your sol-i-tude;
    They will eat you out of house and
    home,
    Then complain about the food.
    They're only one way
    To save your No-el-
    You give 'em your house;
    You take a hotel-
    Sam and Roz are comming to town.

    This guy was talking to a friend of his, and his friend said he had a miserable nightmare last night.
    The guy says well tell me what it was about.
    Friend: I dreamt I went to bed with 3 women last night.
    The guy: *surpised* Says that don't sound too bad.
    Friend: Well the 3 women were Tonya Harding, Lorena Bobbit and Hillary Clinton.
    The guy: Well still that can't be all that bad.
    Friend: Well when I woke up, I found my self in the hospital with a busted kneecap, a smaller dick and then I found out I had no health coverage.

    What's a man's worst nightmare? 1) The Super Bowl is pre-empted by a soap opera. 2) His wife has amnesia and forgets how to cook so he has to. 3) A female boss. 4) He has to ask his wife for money.

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