Education Jokes

One day a man from Alabama comes to Georgia to get an education. He goes to the first professor he sees and says, “What can you teach me?”

Shocked, the professor answers, “Well, I can teach you about the power of reasoning.”

With a questioned look on his face, the man replied, “What’s that?”

“I’ll give you an example,” said the professor. “Do you have a weedeater?”

Although the question seemed strange, the man answered, “Yes, I do”

“Well, if you have a weedeater, then you must have a yard, do you have a yard?”

The man nods.

“Then, if you have a yard, I’ll bet you have a house.”

Again, the man agrees.

“Because you have a house, you must have a wife?”

Once more, the man nods.

“If you have a wife, you must be heterosexual, correct?”

The man again agrees. The man finishes up the full course and heads back to Alabama. When he comes across more...

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"She turned, smiled, and said, "Business. The annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago."He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?""Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of thepopular myths about sexuality." "Really," he said. "What myths arethose?""Well," she explained. "One popularmyth is that African American menare the most well endowed, when infact, it's the more...

The teacher of a high school biology class had his students analyzing bacteria under the microscope. To show them the types of bacteria found in the human mouth, he had them take scrapings from between their own teeth and analyze these scrapings under the microscope.
One girl was stumped in identifying the bacteria she scraped from between her teeth.
The teacher took a look, stared disgustedly at the puzzled girl and said, "Those are sperm cells."

ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION:
You'll be making under $7 an hour.
ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY:
You'll be making under $7 an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.
PROFIT-SHARING PLAN:
Once it's shared between the higher-ups, there won't be a profit.
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.
NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:
Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.
IMMEDIATE OPENING:
The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; although a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:
We have a lot of turnover.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You'll be six months behind more...

What is similarity between a rat and a man?
- they both search a hole