One day a man from Alabama comes to Georgia to get an education. He goes to the first professor he sees and says, “What can you teach me?”
Shocked, the professor answers, “Well, I can teach you about the power of reasoning.”
With a questioned look on his face, the man replied, “What’s that?”
“I’ll give you an example,” said the professor. “Do you have a weedeater?”
Although the question seemed strange, the man answered, “Yes, I do”
“Well, if you have a weedeater, then you must have a yard, do you have a yard?”
The man nods.
“Then, if you have a yard, I’ll bet you have a house.”
Again, the man agrees.
“Because you have a house, you must have a wife?”
Once more, the man nods.
“If you have a wife, you must be heterosexual, correct?”
The man again agrees. The man finishes up the full course and heads back to Alabama. When he comes across more...
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"She turned, smiled, and said, "Business. The annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago."He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?""Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of thepopular myths about sexuality." "Really," he said. "What myths arethose?""Well," she explained. "One popularmyth is that African American menare the most well endowed, when infact, it's the more...
You'll be making under $7 an hour.
ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY:
You'll be making under $7 an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.
Once it's shared between the higher-ups, there won't be a profit.
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.
NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:
Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.
The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; although a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
We have a lot of turnover.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You'll be six months behind more...
Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were excited and talkative about their future plans as they got into a taxi in downtown Boston. After hearing them for a couple of minutes, the cab driver asked,"You men Harvard graduates?"
"Yes Sir! Class of' 99!" they answered proudly.
The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying, "Class of' 58."
IN America's dozen Ivy League Universities, on top of the list come Yale and Harvard or perhaps Harvard followed by Yale. By and large America does not have an upper class accent distinct from that of commoners as is heard in England. The only exception is Harvard which has imbibed some of Boston's
Brahmanical air of superiority by its distinct upper class speech.
This one is told of a freshman who asked a senior student: "Can you tell me where the library is at?"
The senior snubbed him, "At Harvard, we never end a sentence with a preposition."
The freshman had a second go: "Can you tell me where the library is at, you asshole?"