School Jokes

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip more...

One day, little Timmy was at school and heard the word "shit". He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him "coats and jackets".
Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word "fucking", and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said "cooking".
Then, he returned to school the third day and heard the words "bitches and hoes". He went home and his father told him it meant "grandpa and grandma".
Later, on Thanksgiving night, his grandparents came over.
Timmy answered the door with glee and says...
"Hey bitches and hoes! I'll take your shit to the closet cause dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey!

Tyrone, a black kid in kindergarten came home from school one afternoon and asked his father, "Daddy, is it true that black boys have bigger penises than white boys?"

"Did some little cracka-ass say that to you or somethin?" asked the dad.

Tyrone acknowledged this was correct.

"Well," his dad said, "tomorrow when you go to school and you're up takin' a leak at the urinal, get a good lookin' at yo classmates peckers and see if it's true."

So, the next morning, Tyrone went to school, went into the bathroom with a couple of his white classmates and went to take a piss in the urinal. Trying not to get caught, he inconspiculously glanced at their penises. Tyrone grinned.

Later that day, Tyrone came home and told his dad the news. "Daddy," he said, "It's true! All them crackas have smaller dicks that me!"

"Well, son, time to face the truth... it's cuz yo ass is more...

President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th grade classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So the president asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."
"No" says Bush, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not" explains the President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. more...

John Kallam graduated with a BA in criminology and entered the US Army. He served for 20 years beginning in the late 1930s. He was an investigator during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi war criminals and stayed in Germany for many years organizing civilian police forces in the post-war era. He also wrote numerous books on criminal justice. He retired from military service in the late 1950s at the rank of full colonel.
Returning to Fresno, California, he began teaching criminology at what was then Fresno State College (later to become the California State University, Fresno). His work was well respected, but after about ten years of service, he was called to see the president of the college.
He was informed that he could no longer teach with just a bachelor's degree. Times were changing, he was told, and the school demanded that faculty members hold a graduate degree. Merely having 20 years of distinguished experience was no longer considered sufficient qualification to teach. All more...