Memory Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Don't lend people money...it gives them amnesia.

    •WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger
    •WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet
    •WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
    •WinErr: 004 Erronious error - Nothing is wrong
    •WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused
    •WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
    •WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadeqaute money spent on hardware
    •WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
    •WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered - God knows what has happened
    •WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
    •WinErr: 00B Inadeqaute disk space - Free at least 50MB
    •WinErr: 00C Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! More!
    •WinErr: 00D Window closed - Do not look outside
    •WinErr: 00E Window open - Do not look inside
    •WinErr: 00F Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened
    •WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our more...

    Memory Loss

    Hot 4 years ago

    Once there was an old couple who went to the doctor for their checkup. They were told that nothing was physically wrong with them, but that they were both suffering from memory loss, and may want to start writing things down.
    That night when the couple is at home watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
    "Where are you going?" the curious wife asks.
    "To the kitchen."
    "Okay. Can you get me something while you're in there?"
    "Sure. What?"
    "I'd like some ice cream please."
    The man starts to walk into the kitchen. The wife asks, "Shouldn't you write it down?"
    "Nah. I don't need to. You want ice cream. I can remember that."
    "Wait. I just remembered. I want strawberries on it too. Shouldn't you write it down? I'm not sure you can remember all of that."
    "I told you, I've got it. So you want ice cream with strawberries on top?
    "Yes. And oh! I'd like some more...

    Legal Q & A's

    Hot 1 year ago

    Questions are asked by lawyers.
    Answers are given by witnesses.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July 15th.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Q: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you
    when he woke up that morning?
    A: He said,' Where am I, Cathy?'
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Q: Are you sexually active?
    A: No, I just lie there.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Q: Let me get this straight, Mrs. Clarkson. Despite the
    fact that you had hired detectives to watch your
    husband's every move, you yourself stood on that
    corner every night, in all kinds of weather,
    watching your more...

    Everyone has a photographic memory. Some people just don't have film.

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