"Undocumented Windows Errors" joke

Hot 7 years ago

•WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger
•WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet
•WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
•WinErr: 004 Erronious error - Nothing is wrong
•WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused
•WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
•WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadeqaute money spent on hardware
•WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
•WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered - God knows what has happened
•WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
•WinErr: 00B Inadeqaute disk space - Free at least 50MB
•WinErr: 00C Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! More!
•WinErr: 00D Window closed - Do not look outside
•WinErr: 00E Window open - Do not look inside
•WinErr: 00F Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened
•WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our developers
•WinErr: 013 Unexpected error - Huh?
•WinErr: 014 Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of.
•WinErr: 018 Unrecoverable error - System has been destroyed. Buy a new one. Old windows licence is not valid anymore.
•WinErr: 019 User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
•WinErr: 01A Operating system overwritten - Please reinstall all your
software. We are terribly sorry.
•WinErr: 01B Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will get a penalty for that
•WinErr: 01C Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadeqaute.
•WinErr: 01D System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code.
•WinErr: 01E Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.
•WinErr: 01F Reserved for future mistakes of our developers
•WinErr: 020 Error recording error codes - Remaining errors will be lost.
•WinErr: 042 Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automaticly be closed and the virus will be activated again.
•WinErr: 079 Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed.
Please click the left mouse button to continue.
•WinErr: 103 Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Next errors will not be displayed or recorded.
•WinErr: 678 This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
•WinErr: 683 Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure
•WinErr: 815 Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available

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Grumpy

Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run. She still has the grenade in her mouth.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

My wife says I never listen... or something like that...

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