"Old couple punching eachother in the face" joke
An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the road, suddenly the man hit his wife square in the face. She turned to him and said, "what was that for?" He said, "that, was for knowing the difference."
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
A stone was placed at a ford in a river with the inscription:
"When this stone is covered it is dangerous to ford here."
Q. Why does the wind blow from the north in Indiana?
A. Kentucky sucks.
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!