"Weight Loss Program" joke

Hot 2 years agoby Tats

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."

He lost 33 kilos that week.

Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...

A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the more...

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which the son translated: more...

I had the wife in stitches last night.

That'll teach her to overcook my steak.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men s they're a bunch of liars.

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Sir Builds Alot:Ouch!! Good one ;D
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fred: that joke is old agnes brown show in ireland does that joke
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Robert:Good hip replcement for a 56 year old male
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young boy:yo mama so fat her picture fell of the wall while being held up by sixteen nails.
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young boy:yo hair line be like help me please he wont cut me.
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Nate:I'm sorry.
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coco:33+10+5=48, what was his status kg b4 d program?
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Anonym:or he could have stayed on the 5 k program until he caught her.
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Anonym:33 kg,huh,33 kg+5kg+10kg=48 KG!!!a man lose 48 kg llol
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Anonym:I think it's not killing what he wants to do with him
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Funny Joke? 241 vote(s). 79% are positive. 19 comment(s).