"Weight Loss Program" joke

Hot 6 months agoby Tats

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."

He lost 33 kilos that week.

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the more...

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again

You're so ugly your mom has to tie a roast beef sandwich around your neck to get the dog to play with you.

Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
1
0
(0)
Sir Builds Alot:Ouch!! Good one ;D
0
0
(0)
fred: that joke is old agnes brown show in ireland does that joke
0
0
(0)
Robert:Good hip replcement for a 56 year old male
0
0
(0)
young boy:yo mama so fat her picture fell of the wall while being held up by sixteen nails.
0
0
(0)
young boy:yo hair line be like help me please he wont cut me.
0
0
(0)
Nate:I'm sorry.
1
0
(1)
coco:33+10+5=48, what was his status kg b4 d program?
0
0
(0)
Anonym:or he could have stayed on the 5 k program until he caught her.
2
0
(1)
Anonym:33 kg,huh,33 kg+5kg+10kg=48 KG!!!a man lose 48 kg llol
2
0
(0)
Anonym:I think it's not killing what he wants to do with him
Show More Comments
Funny Joke? 238 vote(s). 79% are positive. 19 comment(s).