"Weight Loss Program" joke

Hot 1 year agoby Tats

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."

He lost 33 kilos that week.

MONDAY: It's so much fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. Fortunately, the neighbors were kind enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY: Ron wanted fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said serve without dressing so, I more...

A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your more...

Three guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator.
While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.
The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know...
Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."
The second guy says, "I'm a more...

You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

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Sir Builds Alot:Ouch!! Good one ;D
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fred: that joke is old agnes brown show in ireland does that joke
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Robert:Good hip replcement for a 56 year old male
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young boy:yo mama so fat her picture fell of the wall while being held up by sixteen nails.
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young boy:yo hair line be like help me please he wont cut me.
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Nate:I'm sorry.
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coco:33+10+5=48, what was his status kg b4 d program?
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Anonym:or he could have stayed on the 5 k program until he caught her.
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Anonym:33 kg,huh,33 kg+5kg+10kg=48 KG!!!a man lose 48 kg llol
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Anonym:I think it's not killing what he wants to do with him
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Funny Joke? 238 vote(s). 79% are positive. 19 comment(s).