Voodoo Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Voodoo Dick

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man was about to die, so he went to a black magic store to get a voodoo dick. The man at the store said, "It works. Anything you tell it to go to, it goes. So your wife can just say, 'Voodoo dick, my pussy.'"
    The man buys it and gives it to his wife. She says, "Voodoo dick, my pussy." It goes in and starts screwing. But she doesn't know how to get it out. So she speeds to the hospital, but a cop catches her. He says, "What's the hurry?" She says, "There's a voodoo dick stuck in my pussy." The cop says, "Voodoo dick, my ass!"

    Knock Knock - Voodoo

    Hot 1 year ago

    Knock Knock!
    Who's there?
    Voodoo.
    Voodoo who?
    Voodoo you think you are?

    Voodoo Dick

    Hot 7 years ago

    Once upon a time, there once was a traveling salesman who's wife was a well known sex addict. But because the man could not be home all of the time, he often worried about his wife's faithfulness. He had noticed that she had been eyeing the young neighbor boy who cut their lawn recently. So one day the man decided to try to do something about this. After work the man entered a sexual aid shop and asked the owner to show him the selection of dildos.
    "Why yes, of course." said the owner, "We have a very wide selection."
    But after looking for quite a long time, the man just did not find anything that satisfied him.
    "Well, maybe I have just what you need." remarked the owner, "Wait here."
    And with that, the owner ran into the back and started digging around for quite some time. After about twenty minutes, the owner finally came out carrying a strange, rectangular box with ancient writing all over it. He set the box down on the more...

    Voodoo Dick

    Hot 3 years ago

    There was a businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else.
    So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation, to the old man.
    "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except..." said the old man, and then he stopped.
    "Except what?" asked the businessman.
    "Nothing, nothing," said the old man.
    "C'mon, tell me! I more...

    1. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year.
    2. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    3. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
    4. Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Fourty-five years.
    5. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
    6. Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximately milepost 498. Q: And where is milepost 498? A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
    7. Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well.
    8. Q: Did you blow your horn or anything? more...

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