Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,' Hey Dave, how ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.' Oh no,' says Dave.' He's on my bowling team.'
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says,' You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'
'No honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'
A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave.' Hi Davey,' she says,' Want your usual table dance?'
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in more...
Two young boys were at a waterfall. They saw a naked women underneath the water. One of the boys ran away and the other one followed him saying, why are you running? The first boy said, my mother said that if you look at a naked woman, you turn to stone... And I am already becoming hard !
My uncle Pepe immigrated from Cuba to the US as an adult, and thus had a very hard time dealing with English. The hardest part was learning how to curse properly.
He worked in construction, and one day one of his worker buddies says "man, Pepe, it's hot as a motherfucker."
My uncle Pepe tried hard to process that, and the next day, trying to fit in, turns to his buddy and goes "man, today, it is hot like I fucked your mother, no?"
Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League,honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob and starts to rub herself all over him and says,"Hi Bobbie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots more...
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight
safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here
are some real examples that have been heard or reported.
From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your
lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."
Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going
to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but
please stay inside the plane till we land... it's a bit cold outside, and if
you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you
enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a
lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. more...