Floppy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    In the beginning, God created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word.And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good.And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened. And God said - Let the Data go to their proper places. And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. Thus God created computers and called them hardware.And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small and big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the Memory.And God said - I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer will make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and Data.And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can use all the volumes and subvolumes but do more...

    * They constantly sit there waiting to be turned on!
    * They always go down on a man!
    * And unlike a Woman, never refuse a floppy!
    * A computer is quite happy with one Floppy at a time! (Oooh a Nasty one that)
    * They constantly play games with you
    * You get a new Desktop Wall Paper regulrarly (I think this refers to makeup)
    * In a Crisis, at least you get an instruction manual with a Computer

    Be On The Lookout For The Following New Viruses:
    CLINTON VIRUS
    Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
    VIAGRA VIRUS
    Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
    LEWINSKY VIRUS
    Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.
    RONALD REAGAN VIRUS
    Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
    MIKE TYSON VIRUS
    Quits after two bytes.
    OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
    Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
    DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS
    Deletes all old files.
    ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS
    Disks can no longer be inserted.
    TITANIC VIRUS (A strain of the Lewinsky Virus)
    Your whole computer goes down (but I think "we go on").
    DISNEY VIRUS
    Everything in your computer goes Goofy :}.
    PROZAC VIRUS
    Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
    JOEY BUTTAFUCO VIRUS
    Only attacks minor files.
    ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER more...

    Be on the lookout for the following viruses
    CLINTON VIRUS
    Gives you a 7 inch Hard Drive with NO memory
    VIAGRA VIRUS
    Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
    LEWINSKY VIRUS
    Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did
    RONALD REAGAN VIRUS
    Saves your data but forgets where it is stored
    MIKE TYSON VIRUS
    Quits after two bytes
    OPRA WINFREY VIRUS
    Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200MB
    DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS
    Deletes all old files
    ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS
    Disks can no longer be inserted
    TITANIC VIRUS(A strain of Lewinsky virus)
    Your whole computer goes down
    DISNEY VIRUS
    Everything in your computer goes Goofy
    PROZAC VIRUS
    Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care
    JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS
    Only attacks minor files
    LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS
    Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it - through more...

    Befuddled PC Users Flood Help Lines, and no Question Seems to be Too Basic From the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994. Reprinted without permission AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't gether new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp.technician, made sure the computer was plugged in and then asked thewoman what happened when she pushed the power button. "I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," thewoman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the womansaid, "this little white foot pedal with the on switch." The "footpedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated devicethat helps to control the computer's operations.[boring stuff deleted] Only two years ago, most calls to PC help lines came from techiesneeding help on complex problems. But now, with computer sales to homesexploding as new "multimedia" functions more...

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