Kisses Jokes / Recent Jokes

Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.(Iowa Dumb Laws)

Letter from Husband to Wife
Dear Sweetheart,
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart
Your husband
Wife's Response
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items. ..........
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance. Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart

On Jeeto's b-day Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.

A letter has been sent from a husband:
Dear Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. I'm sure you'll manage.
You are my sweetheart,
your husband. Sam
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart, Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items.
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope that I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, please advise.
Your Sweet Heart....
Nancy

Confucius say:
-------------
. Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.
. Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
. He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
. Wife who put man in dog house find him in cat house.
. Man who farts in church sits alone in pew.
. Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
. Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
. Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
. Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
. Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.
. Modern house without toilet uncanny.
. Woman who springs on inner-spring this spring, gets off-spring next spring.
. Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.
. Man who have hand in pocket more...

Ingredients
1/2 cup Hugs
4 tsp Kisses
2 cups Smiles
4 cups Love
1 cup Special Holiday Cheer
1/2 cup Peace on Earth
3 tsp Christmas Spirit
2 cups Goodwill Toward Man
1 Sprig of Mistletoe
1 medium-size bag of Christmas Snowflakes (the regular kind won't do!)
Method
Mix Hugs, Kisses, Smiles and Love until consistent. Blend in Holiday Cheer, Peace on Earth, Christmas Spirit and the Good Will toward Men. Use the mixture to fill a large, warm heart, where it can be stored for a lifetime. (It never goes bad!)
Serve as desired under mistletoe, sprinkled liberally with special Christmas Snowflakes.
It is especially good when accompanied by Christmas Carols and family get-togethers.
Serve to one and all.

Ingredients 1/2 cup Hugs 4 tsp Kisses 2 cups Smiles 4 cups Love 1 cup Special Holiday Cheer 1/2 cup Peace on Earth 3 tsp Christmas Spirit 2 cups Goodwill Toward Man 1 Sprig of Mistletoe 1 medium-size bag of Christmas Snowflakes (the regular kind won't do!)
Method
Mix Hugs, Kisses, Smiles and Love until consistent. Blend in Holiday Cheer, Peace on Earth, Christmas Spirit and the Good Will toward Men. Use the mixture to fill a large, warm heart, where it can be stored for a lifetime. (It never goes bad!)
Serve as desired under mistletoe, sprinkled liberally with special Christmas Snowflakes.
It is especially good when accompanied by Christmas Carols and family get-togethers.
Serve to one and all.