Laloo, Jayalalitha, and karunanidhi are on a long flight in an Air Force plane. Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs. 100 note out and make someone down below happy."
Jayalalitha not wanting to be outdone says,
"If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs. 50 notes throw them down and make two people down below happy."
Of course karunanidhi doesn't want these two candidates to out do him so he pipes in,
" I would instead take one hundred Rs. 1 notes and throw them out to
make 100 people just a little happier."
At this point the pilot who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore comes out and says,
"If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 100 crore people happy!"
A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun," so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.
The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.
The boss says, "What the hell is that?"
Boudreaux says, "Tree' n tree' n tree makes nine."
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99."
Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says.
The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
Mahathir, Anwar and Daim are on a long flight in an executive jet. Daim pulls out a RM100 bill and says' I'm going to throw this RM100 bill out and make someone down below happy.' Anwar, not wanting to be outdone, says,' If that was my RM100 bill, I would split it into 2 RM50 bills and make two people down below happy.' Of course Mahathir doesn't want these two ministers to outdo him, so he pipes in,' I would instead take 100 RM1 bills and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier.' At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says,' I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 20 million Malaysians happy.'
Rabri Devi, Sonia Gandhi and Jayalalitha were flying together in a plane.
They were just talking among themselves when
Rabri said:' I have this 100 rupee note. If I drop this from the plane then it will fall on the ground and one Indian will pick it up and so I can make one Indian happy.
So Sonia pulled out two 50 rupee notes and said: If I drop these two 50 rupee notes, I can make two Indians happy.
Lastly Jaya pulled out 100 one rupee note and said:' If I can drop all 100 one rupee notes, then I can make 100 Indians happy.'
Seeing all this hypocrisy the pilot could not resist himself and said: If I can drop all three of you from the plane, I can make one billion Indians happy.
A man walks into a bar with his dog and goes up to the bartender and says, " I bet you $50 that my dog can talk!"
The bartender laughing at the man says, "Okay, you're on pal!"
So the man asks his dog, "What is on top of a house?" and the dog replies back "Woof" The man satisfied with the dog's answer says, "There my dog talked!"
The bartender then says " No he didn't he just barked! You owe me $50!" The man gives the bartender his $50 and storms out of the bar.
The next day, the man comes back with the same dog and says to the bartender, "Okay now I bet you $100 that my dog can talk!"
The bartender laughs at him again and says " Okay you're on!"
The man then asks his dog, " Who is the greatest baseball player ever?"
And the dog replies "Woof!"
The man shouts at the bartender "There my dog more...