Junior Jokes / Recent Jokes
George Bush senior and junior were dragging the deer they had just shot back to their truck. Another hunter approached, pulling his along, too.
"Sirs, I don't want to tell you how to do something," he said, "but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer the other way, then the antlers won't drag on the ground."
After the other hunter left, they decided to try it. A little while later, George junior said to George senior, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
"Yeah," said George senior, "but we're getting farther from the truck."
Two Texas Aggies (Texas A&M...) are working a construction job installing drywall.
The more senior one notices that the junior guy is throwing away about half of the his nails, and inquires.
The junior guy tells him that the ones he's throwing out have the head on the wrong side.
"You idiot!" exclaims the supervisor, "Don't throw those away! Those are perfectly good nails," and, pointing to the other side of the room, "they just go on that wall over there."
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site.
After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.
Women!!
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure.
People from the neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was.
The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.
Junior said
"The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present. Please Try Again Later"...
Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!
Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander "Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth" "Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how 'bout you..?" "Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn"
QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts." NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water." EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water." CAPT: "What, no water,...very well, secure the showers."
Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander "Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth" "Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how' bout you..?" "Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts." NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water." EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water." CAPT: "What, no water,. .. very well, secure the showers."
SHORT JOKES.... WHY TEACHERS GO CRAZY...
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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George
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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
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SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson.
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TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you
to keep yours.
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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so more...
Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!
Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander
"Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth"
"Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how' bout you..?"
"Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn"
QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts."
NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water."
EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water."
CAPT: "What, no water,. .. very well, secure the showers."