Senior Jokes

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    Life's Values

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    An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
    The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
    The Mexican replied that it took only a little while.
    The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.
    The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?
    The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senior."
    The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds more...

    IN America's dozen Ivy League Universities, on top of the list come Yale and Harvard or perhaps Harvard followed by Yale. By and large America does not have an upper class accent distinct from that of commoners as is heard in England. The only exception is Harvard which has imbibed some of Boston's
    Brahmanical air of superiority by its distinct upper class speech.

    This one is told of a freshman who asked a senior student: "Can you tell me where the library is at?"

    The senior snubbed him, "At Harvard, we never end a sentence with a preposition."

    The freshman had a second go: "Can you tell me where the library is at, you asshole?"

    A Realtor, driving his buyers around looking at houses, is suddenly pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the Realtor’s car door, and the Realtor says "Is there a problem officer?"
    The policeman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your driver’s license please?"
    The driver responds, "I can’t give it to you – because I don`t have one..."
    "You don`t have one," asks the policeman?
    The Realtor responds, "I lost it 4 times for drunk driving..."
    The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration please?"
    "I am sorry, I can do that either," replies the Realtor, as the homebuyers in the back seat look stunned.
    The policeman says, "Why not?"
    "I stole this car," the Realtor responds, as the homebuyers in the back seat look shocked.
    The Officer says, "Stole it?"
    The Realtor says, "Yes I stole it, more...

    I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

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