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    Goofs for Titanic

    Hot 5 years ago

    GOOFS FOR TITANIC (1997)
    Continuity
    Jack won his ticket by beating 2 pair with a full house. However, when we first see Jack's hand, he has nothihg that could be made in to a full house, and only draws one card.
    Revealing mistakes
    A strip of desert is visible between the dock and the Titanic when docked at Southampton.
    Anachronisms
    Jack claims to have gone ice fishing on Lake Wissota, which wasn't created until five years after the Titanic sank. Jacks claims to have visited the Santa Monica Pier, which did not begin construction until 1916. The pipe frames supporting the third class berths have set-screw speed rail fittings, not developed until 1946.
    Continuity
    In the scene where Jack is teaching Rose to spit, there is no spit on his chin as he starts to turn around to face the ladies, but by the time he has completed his turn he has some on his chin.
    The main characters have lunch in the Palm Court/Verandah on A Deck. These were not used for more...

    If Airlines Sold Paint

    Hot 4 years ago

    IF AIRLINES SOLD PAINT...
    Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
    Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
    Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
    Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
    Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
    Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
    Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.
    Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?
    Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.
    Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
    Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
    Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
    Customer: You've got to be *&%^#@* kidding!
    Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint more...

    The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk."

    What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

    1. No need to boil.
    2. Cats can't steal it.
    3. Available whenever necessary.

    Ummm... So far so good... maybe... But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:

    4. Available in attractive containers.

    A lady was walking down the street when a small sign in the window of a shop caught her eye. She stopped, turned back and read the sign which said, "Clitoris licking frog available".
    Checking to see that no one on the street was observing her, she hurriedly entered the shop, closing the door quickly behind her.
    Inside there was a counter but no sign of activity or human presence. On the counter there was a bell with a sign on top saying: -"Please ring for service"
    The lady gave the bell a push. It rang but nothing happened. She hit the bell again and after a few minutes she heard a shuffling, slurping sort of sound and eventually a man emerged from a door behind the counter. "Bonjour madame"

    A lady was walking down the street when a small sign in the window of a shop caught her eye. She stopped, turned back and read the sign which said, "Clitoris licking frog available".Checking to see that no one on the street was observing her, she hurriedly entered the shop, closing the door quickly behind her.Inside there was a counter but no sign of activity or human presence. On the counter there was a bell with a sign on top saying: -"Please ring for service"The lady gave the bell a push. It rang but nothing happened. She hit the bell again and after a few minutes she heard a shuffling, slurping sort of sound and eventually a man emerged from a door behind the counter. "Bonjour madame"

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