An Italian, a Mexican, and a Redneck constuction worker all sat down one day to eat their lunch on top of a building they were working on.
The Italian opens his lunch and looks in and says, "Pastrami again! If I get pastrami one more day, I'm gonna jump off this building."
The Mexican opens his lunch and says, "Tamales again! If I get tamales one more day, I am gonna jump off this building."
The Redneck opens his lunch and says, "Peanut butter and jelly again! If I get peanut butter and jelly one more day, I am gonna jump off this building."
The next day at lunch, the Italian opens his lunch and finds pastrami, so he jumps off the building.
The Mexican opens his lunch and finds tamales, so he jumps off the building.
The Redneck opens his lunch and finds peanut butter and jelly, so he jumps off the building.
Later, at the funeral the Italian's wife cries out, "I didn't know he disliked pastrami so much!"
Why did the jelly wobble?
Because it saw the milk shake!
A man visits the doctor because he is due to have his first rectal examination.
The nurse tells him to get undressed behind the screen.
After putting on his gown, he notices there are three items on the table next to his bed- a tube of K-Y Jelly, a pair of medical latex gloves and a bottle of beer.
The doctor enters the room.
"I'm a little confused." The patient says to him, "I know what the K-Y Jelly and the gloves are for, but what's with the bottle of beer?""Nurse!" The doctor yells furiously, "I said a butt light!"
what can jelly beans do that you cant cum in different colors
One time there was this woman who was very freaky. Instead of throwing away her old tampons, she put them in her closet. One day this guy who wasn't her husband was over, and they were gettin' it on. All of a sudden, her husband comes in the front door. She tells the guy to hide in the bedroom closet, and then she puts a chair in front of it so it couldn't be opened. Her husband comes upstairs with two tickets to Hawaii. They leave without packing anything, and are gone for a week. When they get back, her husband goes off to work and she runs up stairs to the closet. She apolgizes to him for leaving him in there. He calmy says,"That's alright. But if it wasn't for those jelly doughnuts in there, I would have starved."