Toast Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bull Of Samoa

    Hot 4 months ago

    China, New Zealand, New England, and Samoa were all building a big Tower for their leaders. So after they were done building the tower each leader wanted to make a toast. China went first. He steps up and says, "I want to make a toast to the Great Wall of China!" All of the Chinese people cheered. Then, the leader of New Zealand steps up and he says, "I want to make a toast to the green grass of New Zealand!" Everyone from New Zealand now cheered. Then the Prince of New England steps up and he says, "I want to make a toast to my mom the Queen of New England!" So everyone from New England cheered. Then finally a drunk Samoan from Samoa was about to toast but his leader tried to stop him but he couldn't so the drunk Samoan says, "(I want to make a toast to the Bull of Samoa.". Everyone freezes and they say "The Bull of Samoa... What is that?" Then he says, "Yeah the Bull of Samoa - The Bull of Samoa jumps over the Great Wall of more...

    Body Building

    Hot 4 months ago

    A husband and wife noticed that their little boy's penis was a little too small so they took him to the doctor. They expressed their concerns to the doctor. The doctor said to feed the little boy lots of toast.

    The next morning, the wife gets up really early and makes a huge stack of toast. When the little boy comes down to breakfast, the mother says,' Take the top two slices. The rest are for your father.'

    Potty Training Johnny

    Hot 3 years ago

    Little Johnny's parents were attempting to potty train him. When he did go to the bathroom though, it seemed like he hit everything except the toilet. Then his mother would have to go in and clean up after him.
    After a couple of weeks, she had had enough, so she took Johnny to the doctor. After explaining the problem to him, the doctor said, "Well, his member is too small. There is an old wive's tale that says to give him two slices of toast each morning and his member will grow. Then he will be able to hold it and aim straight."
    The following morning, Johnny jumped out of bed and raced downstairs to the kitchen. On the table were a dozen slices of toast.
    "Mom," Johnny yelled, "the doctor said I only have to eat two slices of toast."
    "Yes, I know son," his mother replied and smiled. "The other ten are for your dad."

    Old Couple and Friend

    Hot 11 months ago

    Once there was an old man 70 years old named Bob who was married to his 73 year old wife, Mary.
    They had their grandchild, named Caroline over. Once they got home from their walk, Bob offered Caroline some hot chocolate, toast, and eggs.
    "Of course!" She said with delight.
    Then, Bob goes in to make the meal for Caroline and Mary follows to help.
    Bob and Mary take an hour to walk into the kitchen, take three hours making the meal, and take an hour to walk back into the living room in which Caroline was in with the meal.
    Caroline noticed, "Hey, you forgot the Hot chocolate and toast!"

    Wedding Toasts 6

    Hot 1 year ago

    The groom, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
    The high divorce rates in America indicate that the U.S. is still the Land of the Free, but your marriage demonstrates that we also remain the Home of the Brave!
    The man says: With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow. (Book of Common Prayer)
    The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
    If you are the best man at a wedding there is always my favorite toast:
    The screwing you'll get is going to be worth the screwing you'll get.
    I didn't have the guts to use it at the wedding but it got a lot of laughs at the bachelor party.
    The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him.
    The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. more...

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