Butter Jokes

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    Chuck Norris gargle

    Hot 3 months ago

    Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

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    The best fruit cake ever

    Hot 1 month ago

    1 cup butter
    1 cup sugar
    4 large eggs
    1 cup dried fruit
    1 tsp baking powder
    lemon juice
    1 cup brown sugar
    nuts
    1 or 2 bottles scotch whiskey
    Before you start, sample the scotch to check quality. Good isn't it? Now start baking.
    Select a large misking bowl, measuring cup etc.
    Check the scotch again, as it must be just right.
    To be sure that the scotch is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
    With an electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
    And one teaspoon of thugar and beat again.
    Meanwhile, make sure the scotch is still OK.
    Cry another cup.
    Open second bottle if necessary.
    Ant tow large leggs, 2 cups dried fruit and beat till high.
    If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry loose with drewscriver.
    Next, sift three cups of salt or anything, it really doesn't matter.
    Sample scotch again.
    Sift half cup of lemon juice.
    Fold in more...

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    If peanut butter cookies are

    If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl
    Scout cookies made out of?

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    Gullible prank

    by TJ

    Tell someone if they rub their palm really hard and it smells like peanut butter they will be rich one day...

    then when they are smelling their palm push their arm into them and they will slap themself in the face.

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    Fried Eggs

    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my Gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!!
    Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my Gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?! They're going to STICK! Careful... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! HURRY UP! Are you CRAZY? Have you lost your mind?
    Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!"
    The wife stared at him. "What the &^%$&^% is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
    The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving".

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