Eggs Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand."My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies "Don't count your eggs before they're hatched."Last is little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He more...

    Scouse Eggs

    Hot 1 year ago

    2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
    He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, 000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
    "R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20, 000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees.
    They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester more...

    Kicking

    Hot 1 year ago

    A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, "Have you done your chores yet?"
    "No," replies the boy, "but could I have breakfast first?"
    "You know the rules, go outside and clean the chicken coop, milk the cow and feed the pigs."
    The boy goes down to the chicken coop and lazily cleans it. When he is finished he kicks a chicken. Next, he walks to the barn and takes out the old milking cow. After milking her thoroughly, he kicks her. Then the boy gets the food and feeds the pigs. Once he is done he kicks a pig.
    Finally, the boy runs back to his house, very hungry. His mother gives him a plate with nothing on it but an apple. Disappointed, the boy says, "Where's my eggs, my milk and my sausage?"
    "Well," says his mother, "I saw you kick a chicken, so now you don't get eggs. I saw you kick the cow, so now you don't get milk. I saw you kick the pig, so now you don't get any more...

    Ham and Eggs

    Hot 6 years ago

    Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    A drunk staggers into a diner and orders a couple of eggs.
    The waiter, suspecting that they've run out, goes back to question the chef.
    "Hey, Gus, do we have any more eggs?"
    Gus replies, "I ran out of fresh eggs, I only have two rotten eggs left."
    The waiter says, "Give him the rotten eggs. He's so bombed he won't know the difference."
    Gus scrambles up the rotten eggs and heaps on hash browns, sausage and toast.
    The drunk is so hungry he wolfs down the breakfast without comment.
    He goes to pay the cashier and asks, "Where'd you get those eggs?"
    She replies, "We have our own chicken farm."
    The drunk asks, "Do you have a rooster?
    "No," she says.
    The drunk replies, "Well, you'd better get one, because some skunk is screwing your chickens."

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