"The best fruit cake ever" joke

Hot 3 years ago

1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit
1 tsp baking powder
lemon juice
1 cup brown sugar
nuts
1 or 2 bottles scotch whiskey
Before you start, sample the scotch to check quality. Good isn't it? Now start baking.
Select a large misking bowl, measuring cup etc.
Check the scotch again, as it must be just right.
To be sure that the scotch is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
With an electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
And one teaspoon of thugar and beat again.
Meanwhile, make sure the scotch is still OK.
Cry another cup.
Open second bottle if necessary.
Ant tow large leggs, 2 cups dried fruit and beat till high.
If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry loose with drewscriver.
Next, sift three cups of salt or anything, it really doesn't matter.
Sample scotch again.
Sift half cup of lemon juice.
Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add one babble of brown thugar, or whatever you can see and mix well.
Grease oven and turn cake pan to 180C.
Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake.
Check scotch again and go to bed.
Courtesy of "Social Spots" Magazine from the Dalmation fanciers in the ACT.

Whats the difference between a Blonde and a ironing board?
Its hard to open an ironing boards legs

One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

An Attorney was riding home in his limo and noticed two men sitting on the side of the road eating grass, he told his driver to stop and investigate.

His driver went to the two men and asked, sirs why are you eating grass? The first man replied, I have no money and must more...

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 19 vote(s). 63% are positive. 0 comment(s).