Sheikh Chilli returns to his favourite Delhi Mai-Khana (restaurant) after a long pilgrimage. Joining his dosts (friends) at the central Burra Mez (Big Table), he takes his favourite seat & then discovers three strange parallel grooves marked into the wood. One is situated two inches, the second three inches, & the third four inches from the edge of his side of the table. Puzzled, he asks his companions what these mean. But they become embarassed by his question & avoid answering him. Irritated, he decides to wait till the Kad-Banu (hostess) arrives.
"By Allah, my dear Kad-Banu," he asks her when she comes. "What is the meaning of these mysterious shinkas (grooves)?"
"Last week three Dravidian men were here," she explains. "And they measured the size of their Lunds (penises)."
"Ha!" Chilli exclaims. "Who said us Punjabi men have small Zubbs (pricks)? I am bigger than them!" With that, he lets down his pyjamas more...
THESE ARE REAL NOTES FROM A REAL CHILLI COOK OFF
Notes from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the east coast:
"Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chilli # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Chilli # 2: more...
Mid-Wife: Sheikh Chilli, your Bibi (wife) just delivered a Bacha (child)!
Sheikh Chilli (smiling naughtily): Is the Londa (boy) healthy ?
Mid-Wife: Yes, he is indeed!
Sheikh Chilli (winking at Mid-Wife): I'm not surprised! Must be because my Lund (penis) is big & strong like a Cobra!
Mid-Wife (unimpressed): Well, doesn't look like your Punjabi Cobra is any bigger or stronger than those Dravidian King Cobras, because her Bacha is Kala (black)!